Thejas Krishnan

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My List Of Top Movies of this year.(2013-14)

Its that time of the year once again, where I list  the movies that gave me a wonderful experience. But I have to give a full disclaimer as to the fact that I have missed out on some big names here (Haider and Guardians of the Galaxy to name a few), but this is just the list of movies THAT I SAW. So here goes.



15.


For a climax, that made this boring movie worth while:

Munnariyip




14.


For the quirkiness and fun:

Two States


13.

For portraying the biopic two overly ambitious race-car drivers:

Rush


12.


For hanging around in space alone for 90 minutes, Sandra Bullock deserves this.:

Gravity



11.

For showing that acting is living a character Mathew McConaughey and Jared Leto in :

Dallas Buyers Club



10.


For the same old story of robbers told in a distinctive way:

Sapthama Shree Thaskara

9.


For the Legend that is Mary Kom

Mary Kom

.

8.

For being a stark reflection of the new gen malayali youth:

Banglore Days


7.

For showing that you dont need a leading star hero to make a good movie, Kangana Renaut in:

Queen



6.

For saying the brave story as it is.

Captain Phillips



5.


For being the best technically and visually brilliant malayalam movie.

Iyobinte Pusthakam


4.

For the story of Solomon Northup that Won the Academy's adulation

12 years, a slave



3.

For the brilliance of Aamir khan, and Raju Hirani's comical take of  one of the country's biggest issues:

PK



2.

For the love story that transcends time.

Her



.....and finally.....

1.

For making everyone reach for their physics books, Christopher Nolan takes away the gold with.

Interstellar 


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Sunday, November 30, 2014

The Epic Morality!

Now this is something that I wanted to write for a long time. I even wrote small piece concerning kiss of love controversy. But the "Dark Scene" of morality and social policing needs a more profound analysis. Lets examine the solutions put forth by main advocates of this unscrupulous policing.



The Major oppressors of the development of cultural modernization argued that these hooliganism are against our values and we should learn from our  religious epics on how to conduct a proper life.
The Sangh even suggested that modern Indian women should idolize the heroines of Mahabharata.
Now from the very little that I know about this multi-volumed brobdingnagian epic, I was pretty sure that I'll be able to dig up a few drastic contrasting cases from the internet. But actually, it seems the entire women in this epic are not even close to social boundaries put forth by the current society. That is, if Matsyaganda, Ambika or Satyavati were alive during this era, they would be unconditionally downright ostracized. Now, you might need a little reference here, So lets see a few of the inside stories of Mahabharata(Disclaimer: All the information depicted here is gathered from the internet and is not derived from my own understanding of these religious text In case of factual inconsistencies kindly curse those fraudulent websites Reader discretion advised):







 A Hero is born: 


Without pre-marital and extra-marital sex, which our belovedleaders blame as the main cause of our problems, they would not have had their heroes like Veda Vyasa , and the sons that he bred through adulterous relationships (Dhritarashtra, Pandu and Vidura), and his grandsons (the five Pandavas). Let takefor instance to the story of the birth of Veda Vyasa:


 One day the great sage Parashara, in the course of his pilgrimage, arrived on the shores of the Yamuna river and saw an extraordinarily beautiful woman , and  he was affected by the excruciating desire of making love to her. The woman happened to be Matsyagandha ( meaning ‘smelling of fish’, as she was the adopted daughter of a fisherman family), who used to ferry passengers in her boat across the river.

When Parashara approached her with his desire, she expressed her inability to immediately satisfy him, drawing his attention to the large number of rishis (sages) waiting on both banks of the river for her to carry them across. Parashara immediately created a fog that immersed the area in darkness—so that the rishis could not see what he planned to do[smooth :)]. Although impressed by Par­ashara’s little magic trick, Matsyagandha pleaded: “But I shall lose my virginity if I satisfy your desire. How can I then go back to my home, and live in society?”
Parashara said: “If you satisfy me, I shall give you whatever you pray for...and res­tore your virginity.”
 Matsyagandha prayed: “Please let my body exude a sweet smell.”
 Having been granted that req­uest, she agreed to sleep with Parashara—and in due course, gave birth to a son who came to be known as Krishna Dwaipayana (meaning dark-skinned and born on an isl­and). Vyasa left home to be an ascetic, but reassured his mot­her that he would come back to her whenever she needed him.





                                            <______Fast_Forwarding_Years______>

Sometime later, his mother (now known as Satyavati, her body “sweet-scented” and her “virginity restored”—thanks to Parashar’s blessings) got married to a king called Shantanu. Through him, she gave birth to two sons—Chitrangad and Vichitravirya. After Shantanu’s death, Chitrangad was killed in a battle, and Vichitravirya ascended the throne.


He married two sisters—Ambika and Ambalika (both daughters of a king). Vichitravirya failed to produce any children, even “after spending seven years with the two queens in continuous vihar (amorous frolic), (following which) he fell victim to tuberculosis in his youth,” and died despite sincere efforts by his friends and doctors.


The problem started now. How were the two childless queens expected to carry on the dynasty? Their mother-in-law Satyavati first requested her stepson Bhishma (her late husband Shantanu’s son by his first marriage) to impregnate the two young widows[I cant believe Aloknath allowed this!!So not sanskari!] When he refused, she summoned her own first son Vyasa (who had promised to help her whenever she needed his help)—who was willing to solve the problem.







But Vyasa, having followed a rather earthy lifestyle in the forests all these years as an ascetic, looked quite hideous and repelling to the two dainty queens. After being persuaded by Satyavati, her eldest daughter-in-law Ambika agreed to welcome Vyasa to her bed. But then seeing his ferocious countenance from close quarters—dark skin, blood-red eyes and matted hair—she closed her eyes in fear. After completing his required role, Vyasa told his mother Satyavati that although a son would be born endowed with superhuman mental and physical powers, he would be born blind—because Ambika had committed the error of closing her eyes during his conception. That was why Ambika gave birth to the blind Dhritarashtra.





 In order to correct the effects of the error, Satyavati sought another grandchild in the family who would be perfect this time. She recalled her son Vyasa again, to impregnate the second daughter-in-law Ambalika But Ambalika again, at one glance at Vyasa’s fearful visage, turned pale—and thus gave birth to Pandu (coloured yellow).



 Disappointed by getting another imperfect (discoloured) grandson, Satyavati summoned her son Vyasa to again impregnate her first daughter-in-law Ambika[Strike 2]. This time, however, Ambika subverted Satyavati’s plans. Refusing to suffer the unwelcome “sight and smells” of the jungle-bred Vyasa, Ambika cheated him by dressing up one of her beautiful slave girls[pretty sure this prostitution and is illegal in all of the countries] in her own ornaments and sending her to him. Unlike the two queens, this woman, who suffered from no scruples, made love to Vyasa with all abandon, and a happy Vyasa blessed her with the words: “You are henceforth free from slavery, and your son will become extraordinarily wise and extremely pious.” Thus was born Vidura, the most perfect and intelligent of all the three brothers . Now that is a good bed-time story.



Birth of the Pandavas


The legacy of pre-marital sex, and the practice of producing children through the extra-marital recourse (of requesting or appointing another male to impregnate the wife or widow), known as ‘kshetraja’, continued even after the birth (through such means) of the ancestors of the dynasty that Mahabharata celebrates. It was only thanks to the custom of ‘kshetraja’ that all the later Pandava heroes were born—Yudhishthira, Bhima, Arjuna and the other two inconspicuous brothers (Nakula and Sahadeva).

 Let us begin with the story of their mother Kunti. The Mahabharata describes how Kunti, the virgin daughter of a king, satisfied the sage Durvasa when he came to their house as a guest, and obtained from him a blessing that allowed her to summon any god who could impregnate her with their power to produce their respective sons. A young and impulsive Kunti, in order to test the veracity of the blessing, summoned the sun god, who immediately appeared and demanded satisfaction of his desire to sleep with her. Through a cunning combination of persuasion, threat and charm, the sun god seduced a reluctant and fearful Kunti, promising to restore her virginity, and then disappeared in the skies. But Kunti found herself left in the lurch, when she gave birth to a son born of the sun god.



Scared of facing social ostracism for her impetuous act, Kunti got rid of her first-born by throwing him into a river. Luckily, a family (belonging to the lower caste of charioteers) picked up the son and brought him up, enabling him to emerge as the powerful warrior Karna.


After having hidden that act of sexual indiscretion, Kunti reappeared on the scene as a princess, ready to choose her husband from among numerous royal candidates, through a custom called swayamvara. She tied the garland of flowers around the neck of Pandu, thus announcing her choice of him as her husband. They led a happy married life, till one day Pandu, during a hunting spree, interrupted the mating of a pair of deer by shooting at them with his arrows. The deer were actually a human couple. The husband, who was the son of a sage, had decided that day to take on the form of a stag and transform his wife into a deer, to savour the delights of animal sexuality perhaps![*Shocking* Isnt it?]


Angered by being stopped mid-way in his adventure, the sage’s son cursed Pandu, predicting that he would die if he ever tried to make love to his wife[Some dysfunction of sorts] . An anguished Pandu requested Kunti to conceive through other means[Cuckold,dont you think?] in response to which she made use of Parashara’s old blessing—and summoned, one by one, the gods Dharma, Vayu and Indra, sleeping with whom she gave birth respectively to Yudhishthira, Bhima and Arjuna.

Requested further by Pandu to help his other wife Madri to conceive, Kunti summoned the twin gods Ashwini Kumars[not to be confused with the former Minister of Law and Justice] , who impregnated Madri which led to the birth of the other two Pandavas—Nakula and Sahadeva.

The above accounts are from the first volume of the Mahabharata.What follows in the next 17 volumes of this fantastic epic is a cornucopia of romantic stories, secret intrigues and surreptitious love affairs (with which the main narrative of battles and wars are interspersed) that unfold a variety of sexual lifestyles and inter-caste/racial liaisons.


Now may be its all because I do not possess the mental prowess to understand the concealed truth behind these material stories.




But Ill say ONE thing for sure. IF the modern women started idolizing these epic heroines, The moral police will have a FULL time job, May be that's the way to fight unemployment!


(Acknowledgements to SUMANTA BANERJEE for his writings.)



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Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Wrist Watch Conundrum

We live in a world of anomalies. As time progress some objects loose their relevance due to advent of superior technology and the older objects quietly recede in to oblivion. Or so happens in most cases. 


Let me turn your attention to the curious case of wrist watches. I first started paying attention to this anomaly after Sir Ken Robinson mentioned this in a ted talk. Is there really a need for a wrist watch in today's socio-technological setup? It may seem like a pretty silly question but just think for a moment. Its a seeming bulky and usually expensive device that perform ONE function. It shows you the time. That's it. Best case, the date also. Two things is its USP. In a generation where people don't mind spending ₹60k just to upgrade their cellphones to get a quarter of an inch more or to get that new function that allows you to check your blood pressure while skydiving -_-, amazingly this wrist ornament never looses its relevance.







 As Mr. Robinson said," ...teenagers do not wear wrist watches, I don’t mean they can’t or they’re not allowed to, they just often choose not to. And the reason is you see, we were brought up in a pre-digital culture, those of us above 25 and so for us, if you want to tell the time you have to wear something. Kids now live in a world which is digitized and the time for them is everywhere so they see no need to do this (wear something – a watch). And you don’t need to do it either, it’s just that you’ve always done it and will carry on doing it. My daughter Kate who is 20 doesn’t wear a watch, she doesn't see the point. She says ‘it’s a single-function device, how lame is that?’… ". Now, you get my point? 








So what is the rationality that holds people to the glory of wrist watches? We have to conclude, it has nothing to do with function. Its more of a tradition. A social status issue. Its a "look I can afford a Rolex" indicator. Lets be frank here, the moment you see a Hublot , Ulysse Nardin or Bertling stamped on a guy's watch you are pretty sure his monthly income has more zeros than your Engineering mathematics answer sheet! He instantaneously becomes the alpha and you start day dreaming about what it would be to be like him, even though you just had seen him for a flash of a second. 








Next we have the fashion statement consumerists. People who are desperately trying to prove they are unique and not like those aam admis. Fastrack has targeted them quite brilliantly, coming out with watches which has sleazy taglines like "Size matters" and "Use Rubber" scribbled across the strap. There was a time when watches stood for suave and sophistication. Not anymore. 








But then again, People usually spend ridiculous money for things which are functionally moribund. The 10B-5H-2K homes that the NRIs built for TWO really old people living back home, astronomically priced Business class and first seats, for sitting five Rows in front and getting better food than normal people, there is no extant to which people wont go to show case their social flamboyance. 







Then there is jewelry. Lakhs and crores of dollars and rupees and pounds are pumped to buy necklaces and rings and bangles. They don't have WiFi Bluetooth or NFC, functionally Useless. But No indian wedding is complete without making the bride look like IRONMAN with gold accessories. Why we don't just support with Manju Warrier and buy low cost diamond chains. Everybody wins.





 And finally there are those people who put gold and diamonds on things that doesn't need gold and diamonds. Cars. Cell phones. Toilet seats. I have a tremendous ordeal with Vertu on this. Usually my rage could be explained as a result of my inherent jealousy, but not this time. Vertu literally takes a phone like Nokia 1100. Puts a little fevicol. Sprinkles a few gem stones and then sells the phone for 2lakhs. And all those people with a lot of money and absolutely no brains buys them (then of course people with a lot of money and very little brains stand in lines for 10 hours and buys apple phones, but that's globally acceptable.) 






 So in order to conclude this jibber-jabber gibberishness,the wrist watch isn't gonna face extinction in the near future. Period.
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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Love Lost


Aaah. Love. What a wonderful little miracle! The most mis-interpreted and cheesily portrayed human instinct. Even though its manifestations differ based on which part of the world your from, the feeling is still the best one. Everyone wants to be loved.




 So the question remains why is the society is so hell-bent in castrating love and confining it within boundaries of social morality. But then what is social morality. I mean, if you walk around in a mini skirt in New york or Milan you are fashionable but if you do the same thing in Kochi or Lucknow, you are a slut(that is if you are a woman, if you are a man, its pretty inappropriate no matter where you are. :)). So in shaping love into rigid forms to cater to a particular vernacular, problem comes when the world starts melting and amalgamating. Views of the west east and center starts merging and a minor proportion of people start to think about "What ifs". At that same moment, people who are in inseparable love with the concept social inertia starts developing orthodox ideologies. 



But that is just universe's principle of duality, everything exists in pairs. So understandably with the advent of radicals and free thinkers, its only natural that conversationalists prop up like wild mushrooms in first rain. But to understand what happened in Kochi on the eve of 2nd of Nov 2014, this rationalization is not enough. We must take into account the political scenario also. First of all the title 'Chumbana Samaram' is pretty ridiculous. But keeping that aside,lets focus on the reason behind this grueling endeavor . The Kochi Kiss of love was not conducted for random people to kiss and quench their thirst for lust. It was meant as a statement against barbarianisms taking place in the name of moral policing. In a social setup where even a brother-sister duo have to think twice before leaving their home on a Saturday evening, this protest is in no way without a contemporary relevance. 



But what amused me the most is the way in which this issue was cross examined in newsroom discussions. All the people , both the organizers and the political parties focused their full attention on the public kissing aspect and the central ideology of moral policing became the secondary in many of the discussions. But the narrower-than-nano-tube viewpoints of many prominent youth leaders (and the ubiquitous crap sprayer, Rahul Eashwar) was broadcast to a global audience. Rape convicted politicians and convicted sexual abusers are screaming in the media, "This is against indian values. What about our culture.?" Probably the next protest should be against hypocrites. -_- 




 And the biggest argument of the people who are against this kiss protest is that "This is against our values". Really? People have been killing each other, destroying public and private property, burning cars and busses and causing all sorts of tyranny during harthals for the past half century. No one, not a single person said anything about social values. But kissing, that is the sign of apocalypse. -_- 



 It has nothing to do with morality or social sense. Its a game of political strategy. Everyone wants to be the shiny white knight who upholds indian culture. Even if it means incarcerating people within meaningless social boundaries . 

 So, in sau baath ki ek baath philosophy, this ain't no place for love. Love our culture and Spread the violence. Peace out(Literally).
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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Random Enigmas : The Packing Retrospection


Packing. Unpacking. Repacking. Unloading. Knotting. Untaping. Pushing. Untwisting. And then packing again. We have all been through this array of luggage manipulation. We have had to displace our things from one place to another. In hopes of education, job or generally a living. Its all about existence. And the things we do to do to keep the lamp burning.


 But there is this psychological aspect to packing that often gets unnoticed. A deep rooted retrospection. An nostalgic-slow-motion evaluation of memories of the entire duration for which we had lived in the place. Human beings have this lock of emotional bonds. Whenever we get too used to people or things, we lock them up. Bound by the chains of commitment even the inanimate objects seek redemption when we finally decide to leave a surrounding.


 But till the moment of packing, we are too involved in the logistics and transportation, charting out the train and bus timings, rechecking with the auto-walas and fighting with the taxi drivers on account of their ridiculous initial quote. Once u get into packing, things start befalling to an hierarchical stack of memoirs. The moment you thought of this this particular venture, the dis satisfactions that arose initially, the reason which made you adamant to choose it, the initial protests by family, the convincing and false hopes, and finally the packing you did to get here. Strangely enough, its the bad memories that make you teary eyed during the after-thought. That one unbelievably strict lab superintendent, that sad excuse for a boss or that incessantly nagging co-worker. All these become inconveniently welcome aspects without which you feel that something is not just right.


 The reason may be because that we let ourselves be defined by these external stimuli. Whenever we come to a new place, everything is foreign and nobody knows us. You have to start from zero. You have to build up your entire profile and we do this very organically. We adapt ourselves to the people whom we are with. We become answers to their sinister questions about us. " So, looks like you really like apple juice!" "Yes I do. I love it." And then you begin appreciating apple juice. We try to inconspicuously blend in so that we are regarded as a member of their pack all at the same time, they are doing it too. So somewhere in these initial formalities we establish an emotional equilibrium with some people with whom we can totally become us. And they can be them. And nothing is concealed.



Leaving them to continue with your own is like ripping off that old bandage. If done quickly it just a jolting pain. But if you take a long time to say your goodbyes, its emotionally draining. It even breaks all cliches like men don't cry and 'mard ko dard nahi hota.' If ever you want to seen a man cry, just catch him on the day when he vacates any combined living environment that he had called home for some time. If he is not even a little moist in the eyes, well , take him to a doctor. 


So as you are rolling your socks into little balls and stuffing it into the pockets of your folded trousers, you dish out a gray smile thinking to yourself hey, it wasn't so bad after all. May be that's what gives us the energy and the zest to undertake packings in the future and may be what Red said was right, hope may be the best of things.
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Saturday, August 23, 2014

Random Enigmas : The Addiction

Addiction is bad. What ever the substance may be. Addiction can never yield anything productive. But addiction may not always be alcohol, tobacco or cocaine. People get addicted to tea, to exercise, to road , to rain, to cellphone, even to work, who we euphemize as "workaholics" .

 In the 12 Step program of the Alcoholics Anonymous, the first step in de-addiction is to accept that you have an addiction. So here goes, Yes. I'm addicted to reading. And don't take it lightly, it has all the symptoms of any addiction, the craving, the fidgeting, the pleasure of devouring it slowly and the withdrawals. But its manifestations are more on a psychological level rather than physical.


 How do you realize that you are a reading additict, you ask?

  •  First of all, you cant stop buying books even though you have a million unread books at home. Be it book stores,online stores, second hand stores, flea markets, Higgin Bothams, railway vendors or libraries, you can never say no to a book. 
  • You read multiple books simultaneously. At any given point in the space-time continuum you are reading five books and have another 17 on queue. And this is an eternal queue. As soon as you finish one, you start with two others.
  •  The craving is also a substantial clue. When the package you ordered gets delivered, you mind gets flooded with a dopamine induced excitement. You dont open the package in a hurry, you first finish all your chores and then take the package and slowly take a knife to slice open the packing tape, trying to conserve the original box. Then you take out and read the invoice first trying to understand the taxation and logistics info written on it and finally you extort the book from the bosom of the cardboard box and take in the enchanted fragrance of ink on cheap paperback pages and your mind has orgasmic convolution. You slowly start reading the acknowledgement and abstracts and all sorts of tiny scribblings  before finally delving into the realm of the story.



 Reading is truly a magical experience. One that is too good to be put in words(there is the irony for you). But it seems funny to me that the 2600 paged text books never seems so appealing, even though physically its of the same composition, it lacks in a certain miracle, that is what we call the "soul" of a book. Now the only question that remains to be answered is , Are u an addict?
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Friday, August 15, 2014

The Middle Class : My Twisted Perception

This is a true incident. Mother promise.


So I was lingering inside LuLu Hyper market, Kochi, about three weeks back, Just looking at random shit, thinking about the miracles of this universe (as everybody does). All I wanted was some sugar and I could have got that from a gazillion shops stretching  my apartment to Lulu, but it was a Friday and I needed to do something different . My pace was snail-y and I was really observing every aisle to spot the "ISRAELI" products, which seems to be quite the trend now -_-.






Then suddenly a family caught my attention. It was a three person family. We have the mother, a woman who could well be a representative of the hundreds of slightly dark " à´•ൊà´š്à´šി à´µീà´Ÿ്à´Ÿà´®്à´® ", who was (unfortunately)  dressed in jeans and a top which very obviously was not her usual choice of clothing. And  on top of her head she quite ornamentally  draped a pair of the very cheap Fort-Kochi-branded-"RayDan"-sunglasses. Then we had the father. The quintessential dhothi-clad aam admi, who could have easily been an employee of KSEB or Village office. He seemed totally oblivious to fact that he was encapasulated in the grandeur of the mighty Lulu. And finally we have the daughter a little girl of I'd say 9-12 years, who was dumbfounded by the entire resplendence. 


Now the reason why I, and a vast majority of people there, started noticing this family is because of the loud conversation between the mother and daughter. Well, the mother was scolding the daughter in broken and quite frankly pathetic English. When the daughter started retaliating , the mother screeched in a jarring stridency, "You the Talk in the English Only"[read in heavy Malayalam accent]. So now the daughter was looking at her like "Are you bloody  serious?" and the father was looking at her like "Somebody please kill me now". At first they had my curiosity But now they had my attention. I had many doubts, may be they where not malayalis, may be she was her English teacher, may be we are all living in  the matrix. Anything was possible.



But just moments later I found out they were proper malayalis, Proper Kochikar. And She was not her english teacher. And Not shockingly, we are not living in the matrix(yeah, that was a longshot). She was just another victim of the ring of inferiority  that Lulu has brought to the lifestyle of Kerala

.

Lulu is indeed the biggest commercial enterprise that has ever existed in kerala, and if the internet statistics is to be believed it is the Largest Shopping mall in South  Asia. So its inevitable that "The butterfly effect" will come to play.(for those who dont know, the butterfly effect, derived from the chaos theory, is the idea that even something as small as a butterfly flapping its wings in one part of the world may have unprecedented repercussions in another part.) 






Egotistically speaking, what Mr. M.A. Yusuf Ali, who by the way is a genius, has done is that he has boldened the line between the rich and the poor. Earlier people only knew that  the rich shopped at Tissot and Hugo Boss, but now the materialists among the common men(and woman) could see it, feel it  just from feets away, yet it still is a unattainable Atlantis.  This could very well plunge people into what psychologists call a materialistic depression( okay fine, I just made that up -_-). 





But still this appeals to the very competitiveness that is instinctively human. We are always comparing and judging the people around us to decide who is the alpha male or female (thank you Simon Sinek). "He is smarter than you. He is cuter than you. She is a better driver than you". We are constantly being judged and our-self judging to sort people and place them in the correct slot of the social hierarchy. So in a world where money is one of the forms( if not the biggest) of showing one's dominance,  a sudden display of wealth is a shot of dopamine and instantly makes the "displayer" feel above the audience. That is why all the brands put their logo on the OUTSIDE! They are no good on the inside now are they? :) This ultimately causes people to mimic the lifestyles of people who they are not,  leading to incidents as above.







Now, I'm not criticizing the people who want to raise their standards. Its only human to think of moving up the social ladder. But this probably wasn't the "Empowerment of the Middle class"  that the architects of our constitution had in mind.  Raising standards of the middle class should be an organic process, and any catalyst would be an deleterious influence on this metamorphosis. Its like drinking a whole bottle of syrup in one gulp to cure a cough. Not a very bright idea.



Then again, if you are not really a materialist bloke, You dont really give a damn, now do YOU??
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Friday, June 13, 2014

Subliminal Poetry

I have started many articles before this, on various topics , but all went to drafts because I was not able to lure them to an eventful closure. Mr. Amish Tripathi and Mr.George R R Martin have kept me very busy. So as I was probing for a good topic , it started raining. The very first rain. First rain is always magical. Your whole atmospheric temperament does a 180. Its darker, cooler, and more fragrant! Every thing seems more fresh, more rejuvenated and brimming with life. But, I have observed a peculiar behavior of people when it comes to these environmental transformations. People work in two modes, "Its so hot, I really wish it would rain!' and " when is this bloody rain going to stop!". And this change over happens quite instantaneously. Its like acid on litmus! 






Yet another peculiarity that I've noticed is people have a dire altercation with rain, they try to run away from it. I understand a little running and shouting but people go full on rugby-styled-marathon-frenzy. The running, shoving pushing  jumping and howling almost as if somebody was showing Himesh's Expose in public!






I agree, standing your ground when it rains is pretty damn stupid especially when you have a shit load of work to do, but even in their leisure moments people have abandoned the rain. Like Lord Pink Floyd describes in his vividly variable songs such social fear frenzies are programmed into us right from the very childhood. Now the rhyme "Rain Rain Go away, Come again another day!" makes perfect sense, doesnt it.Its all part of a devious propaganda of an unknown evil that propagates its diabolical ideologies through such innocent nursery rhymes!


This made made me think. Do other Nursery rhymes have dark origins too? And so, I started my snooping with the help of ol' google bro ( you might think why I gave such a "Pablo-Neruda-I-Love-nature introduction"  to this, and quite frankly, I'm thinking the same.) and here is what I uncovered:



 1. BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP (1731)



Though most scholars agree that “Baa, Baa, Black Sheep” is about the Great Custom, a tax on wool that was introduced in 1275, its use of the color black and the word “master” led some to wonder whether there was a racial message at its center. Its political correctness was called into question yet again in the latter part of the 20th century, with some schools banning it from being repeated in classrooms, and others simply switching out the word “black” for something deemed less offensive. In 2011, news.com.au reported on the proliferation of “Baa, Baa Rainbow Sheep” as an alternative. Doesnt have the Punch , I reckon!








2. JACK AND JILL (1765)


Its probably the most repeated verse ever, but its origins have a devious tale of its own.One of the most common theories surrounding the story’s origin is that it’s about France’s Louis XVI and his wife, Marie Antoinette, who were both found guilty of treason and subsequently beheaded. The only problem is that those events occurred nearly 30 years after “Jack and Jill” was first written. The more likely possibility is that it’s an account of King Charles I’s attempt to reform the tax on liquid measures. When Parliament rejected his suggestion, he instead made sure that the volume was reduced on half- and quarter-pints, known as jacks and gills, respectively. And hence the catchy rhyme.








3. LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN (1744)



This one is pretty obvious . Depending on whom you ask, “London Bridge is Falling Down” could be about a 1014 Viking attack, child sacrifice, or the normal deterioration of an old bridge. But the most popular theory seems to be that first one. More specifically: the alleged destruction of London Bridge at the hands of Olaf II of Norway some time in the early 1000s. (“Alleged” because some historians don’t believe that attack took place.) The song’s popularity around the world is often cited as further proof that it was the Vikings who created it, believing that they brought the tune to the many places they traveled. Oh, and that whole child sacrifice thing? That’s an idea that is also often debated (there’s no archaeological evidence to support it), but the theory goes that in order to keep London Bridge upright, its builders believed that it must be built on a foundation of human sacrifice, and that those same humans—mostly children—would help to watch over the bridge and maintain its sturdiness. Which I'm pretty sure isn’t a practice they teach you in architecture school. Skyscrapers dont seem very friendly now, Does it?









4. MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY (1744)


“Contrary” is one way to describe a murderous psychopath. This popular English nursery rhyme, which reads like a solicitation for gardening advice, is actually a recounting of the homicidal nature of Queen Mary I of England, a.k.a. Bloody Mary. A fierce believer in Catholicism, her reign as queen—from 1553 to 1558—was marked by the execution of hundreds of Protestants. (Silver bells and cockle shells are torture devices, not garden accouterments.) So basically, this rhyme is the equivalent of John McNaughton's grotesque thriller "HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER"





5. THREE BLIND MICE (1805)


“Three Blind Mice” is supposedly yet another ode to Bloody Mary’s reign, with the trio in question believed to be a group of Protestant bishops—Hugh Latimer, Nicholas Radley, and The Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer—who (unsuccessfully) conspired to overthrow the queen and were burned at the stake for their heresy. Critics suggest that the blindness in the title refers to their religious beliefs.Talk about juicing out a political scenario!






6. EENY, MEENY, MINY, MO


No, there’s nothing particularly inflammatory about the lines “Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo, Catch a tiger by his toe.” But there is when you consider that the word “tiger” is a relatively new development in this counting rhyme, as a replacement for the n-word[you know nigger, or nigga derieved from negro :D]. Even with the lyrical switch-out, any reference to the poem still has the ability to offend. This implication even caused a few school to abolish the rhyme for a few years but who can really stop the kids.





7. HERE WE GO ROUND THE MULBERRY BUSH (1840)


“Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush” is often sung as part of a children’s game. According to historian R. S. Duncan, a former governor of England’s Wakefield Prison, the song originated with that 420-year-old institution’s female prisoners, who were exercised around a mulberry tree. Which is probably not the connotation your six-year-old self had in mind. Unpalatable, indeed.







8. ROCK-A-BYE BABY (1765)


One interpretation of this famous lullaby is that it is about the son of King James II of England and Mary of Modena. It is widely believed that the boy was not their son at all, but a child who was brought into the birthing room and passed off as their own in order to ensure a Roman Catholic heir to the throne.







9. RING AROUND THE ROSIE (1881)



Of all the alleged nursery rhyme backstories, “Ring Around the Rosie” is probably the most infamous. Though its lyrics and even its title have gone through some changes over the years, the most popular contention is that the sing-songy verse refers to the 1665 Great Plague of London.“The rosie” is the rash that covered the afflicted(far far away from the roses we imagined), the smell from which they attempted to cover up with “a pocket full of posies.” The plague killed nearly 15 percent of the country’s population, which makes the final verse—“Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down”—rather self-explanatory.






10. OLD MOTHER HUBBARD (1805)


It seems,“Old Mother Hubbard” is not a mother at all—nor a woman. The poem is speculated to have been written as a mockery of Cardinal Thomas Wolsey, whose refusal to grant an annulment to King Henry VIII, so that he could marry Anne Boleyn, led to his political downfall.Its was a very strategically satirical ballad.






Disclaimer : All the above information is gathered from the internet. I'm in no way liable for any legal implication if any/ all of the above prescribed information turned out to be incorrect, illogical or just plain anarchist mumbo-jumbo. Viewer discretion is advised. 

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Saturday, May 31, 2014

Deadly Lifesavers.

Aaah! Deadlines..! Don't you just love to hate them. What will happens to us if there were no deadlines! I had a very different outlook towards deadlines until recently, but its only when you sit idle for a month that you actually realize the importance of these unforgiving creatures.



 For a moment , lets consider the word "Dead-Line". "DEAD" "LINE". They could have just said completion date or finish date but NO. It has to be deadline. That is how important it is. If you cross that line, you might as well hope that you were dead instead! May be that is why,Tom Robbins, the author of Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas  said Are you aware that rushing toward a goal is a sublimated death wish? It's no coincidence we call them 'deadlines.” 









People have this very bad notion about deadlines. It wouldn't let me sleep, it gets closer and closer each moment, I cant even breath! Panic Panic Panic. Our whole lives are structured around submission dates, presentation dates, project completion date, review date, hell, even anniversaries and birthdays!



But the truth is that deadlines give you hope. It gives u stability in an otherwise chaotic existence. Without them , you have absolutely nothing to look forward to. You sit and think, "what do I have that is going to screw me over this week", you find an answer and you cry over it. But what if you have nothing in your schedule. Your to-do list look like the horizon, expanding to infinity. Your yesterdays and todays and tomorrows merge into one! Days have no meaning, weeks pass, months pass and you sit there wondering whether its a sunday or august!  







Man wants order, so the sight of a deadline calms you down. I've got to survive for atleast till  that date and then you encounter the next deadline and so on. Something always draws us to stability , to reason.May be that is the reason why the only thing that I admire about children is their ability to do unreasonable things with the greatest determination. 

"Son, where are you going with my phone?" 
"To the bathroom..." 
"why?" 
"to flush the phone  down the toilet" 
Their inherent sense of duty takes precedence over the need for  rational things or for them to be in order, I wish adults could do the same sometimes.



Coming back to deadlines, deadline just gives you solace, nothing more. Its not that deadline inspires you to do something. Its like standing before a speeding car. "Oh I see a car coming towards me" "its big" "I think It will slow down" "Its getting closer and closer" "I think I should move out of its way" and then BANG, it hits you. And you get up crawling, living to fight another deadline.



So do all things have a deadline, a subtle invisible deadline? Do Dreams have a deadline? We often hear  people say "when I was young, I wanted to do *something*. But now I'm too old" I guess dreams do have a certain expiration time, after which no matter how hard you try, it fails to materialize. Everyone carries with them a bundle of expired deadlines,  those which no-one knows expect him and him alone.






Ultimately, all work needs inspiration and I agree deadlines are pretty de-motivational, but they are still better than absolutely no inspiration!!







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